Girlfriends

A young lady is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.

She says: ''You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14.
When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you''

The boyfriend says: ''Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?''

"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?''

Somebody Right Now

Somebody is very proud of you.
Somebody is thinking of you.
Somebody is caring about you.
Somebody misses you.
Somebody wants to talk to you.
Somebody wants to be with you.
Somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.
Somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
Somebody wants to hold your hand.
Somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
Somebody wants you to be happy.
Somebody wants you to find him/her.
Somebody is celebrating your successes.
Somebody wants to give you a gift.
Somebody thinks that you ARE a gift.
Somebody hopes you're not too cold, or too hot.
Somebody wants to hug you.
Somebody loves you.
Somebody admires your strength.
Somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
Somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.
Somebody wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun.
Somebody thinks the world of you.
Somebody wants to protect you.
Somebody would do anything for you.
Somebody wants to be forgiven.
Somebody remembers you and wishes that you were there.
Somebody is praising God for you.
Somebody needs to know that your love is unconditional.
Somebody values your advice.
Somebody wants to tell you how much they care.
Somebody wants to share their dreams with you.
Somebody wants to hold you in their arms.
Somebody wants YOU to hold them in your arms.
Somebody treasures your spirit.
Somebody wishes they could STOP time because of you.
Somebody praises God for your friendship and love.
Somebody can't wait to see you.
Somebody loves you for who you are.
Somebody loves the way you make them feel.
Somebody wants you to know they are there for you.
Somebody's glad that you're his/her friend.
Somebody wants to be your friend.
Somebody stayed up all night thinking about you.
Somebody is alive because of you.
Somebody is wishing that you noticed him/her.
Somebody wants to get to know you better.
Somebody wants to be near you.
Somebody has faith in you.
Somebody trusts you.
Somebody needs you to send them this letter.
Somebody needs your support.
Somebody needs you to have faith in them.
Somebody will cry when they read this.
Somebody needs you to let them be your friend.
Somebody hears a song that reminds them of you.

HAIRCUT!!!

THERE IS THIS GOOD OLD BARBER IN LONDON....
>
>ONE DAY A FLORIST GOES TO HIM FOR A HAIRCUT. AFTER THE CUT, HE GOES
>TO PAY THE BARBER AND THE BARBER REPLIES:
>
>"I AM SORRY. I CANNOT ACCEPT MONEY FROM YOU.
>
>I AM DOING COMMUNITY SERVICE."
>
>THE FLORIST IS HAPPY AND LEAVES THE SHOP.
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>NEXT MORNING WHEN THE BARBER GOES TO OPEN HIS SHOP,
>
>THERE IS A "THANK YOU" CARD AND A DOZEN ROSES WAITING AT HIS DOOR.
>
>A POLICEMAN GOES FOR A HAIRCUT AND HE ALSO GOES TO PAY THE BARBER
>AFTER THE CUT.
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>BUT THE BARBER REPLIES: "I AM SORRY. I CANNOT ACCEPT MONEY FROM YOU.
>
>I AM DOING COMMUNITY SERVICE.
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>THE COP IS HAPPY AND LEAVES THE SHOP.
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>THE NEXT MORNING THE BARBER GOES TO OPEN HIS SHOP, THERE IS A THANK
>YOU CARD AND A DOZEN DONUTS WERE WAITING AT HIS DOOR.
>
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>AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER GOES FOR A HAIRCUT AND HE ALSO GOES TO PAY
>THE BARBER AFTER THE CUT.
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>BUT THE BARBER REPLIES: "I AM SORRY. I CANNOT ACCEPT MONEY FROM YOU.
>
>I AM DOING COMMUNITY SERVICE. "
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>THE INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER IS HAPPY AND LEAVES.
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>THE NEXT MORNING WHEN THE BARBER GOES TO OPEN HIS SHOP,
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>GUESS WHAT HE FINDS THERE...?
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>CAN YOU
> GUESS?
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>TRY TO GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS .
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>??????
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>COME ON, THINK LIKE AN INDIAN...... ......... ..
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>A DOZEN INDIANS WAITING FOR A HAIRCUT